I like to think that a few of you have asked, “Hey, what happened to Steve? I wonder why he hasn’t been blogging?” I would love to tell you that I’ve been hanging out with Keith Richards & the boys, working on some new songs, touring and the like but you’d see through that. Right? C’mon, I know my readers are brighter than that!
No, it’s been more a case of, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything. Hey, there has been some really good stuff, don’t get me wrong. It just doesn’t overwhelm my thoughts
I’ve bought myself a guitar & I’m learning to play (kinda). My circle of friends has been expanding and I’ve gained an appreciation for a wider range of cuisines. I’ve even come into some fabulous wood to slowly work through in the shop.
Pennsic has come & gone. My new tent is awesome & the girls love it. They came this year & had a blast! There was even one crazy old man who, during a lapse in cognitive ability, decided to make me one of his Protégés. (what were you thinking Dad?).
So, with all this good stuff, why haven’t I been writing?
The mind is a funny thing. In my case, it doesn’t dwell on the good & positive experiences I have. Instead, I am completely aware of the not so good stuff and that is where my mind is at. It doesn’t help that my heart seems like a black, smouldering ruin of a thing. In fact, it compounds the problem.
It is said that a craftsman creates when his head and his hands work together but art occurs when both are driven by ones heart and soul. Well, despite my dislike of the label, I am an artist. I’ve come to see that and even accept it in a way. I need my heart to be a big part of my creative process. Without it, I feel like I’m manufacturing stuff and I hate that.
Lately when I show my latest works, they are greeted with enthusiasm and love (and often with cash which is always nice). And yet, I have little connection to these pieces. Technically and aesthetically they are good. I know this. So why would I be just as happy to give them to the fire gods and start over?
I think the reason is my heart. It’s not a very good place lately (I have been known to say that 2013 can kiss my ass). I have seen friends and loved ones suffer. I have had to cut my dearest, most cherished friendship ever because, well, let’s just call it unrequited love. THAT relationship has been chewing at me and I know now what an utter disaster I have made of it (if you are reading this and you know who you are, please call).
I’ve seen things in friends that make me question whether they should be in my life. That is a hard pill to swallow because some of these are active, involved parts of my everyday life. Plus, it seems I am pushing a lot of folks away these days. Where do I stop with that? When I am hermit, sitting atop a high ledge, my cave behind me and the winds howling?
So there it is, the reasons I haven’t been writing of terribly active on social media. Getting all of this out is somewhat cathartic and I thank you for enduring my rambling. Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going into the shop now for some woodturning therapy. There’s a chunk of red maple that could use some heart & soul.
Thanks for stopping by, as always.